TUNA FISH

So I love TUNA fish sandwiches. I mean I really love TUNA fish sandwiches. When I go to the market, TUNA fish is always on the list, and yeah, I do write lists. So I go and I buy cereal and pasta and bread and what not. But I always buy TUNA.

I'm at the bar, hanging out with my buddy and we go outside to hang out. We talk and tell jokes. He has a really bad irish accent that he always wips out for jokes. Everyone leaves from the bar. It's just me and him in the lot. And I'm getting wicked hungry. So there I am, It's way past last call. I'm starving and I go to a circle K or what have you, and I'm looking at the food they have. The selection... not so good. Either HOT POCKETS or some really bad premade sandwiches, but I see a can of tuna, and I know I have stuff and bread at home, so I'm good. I grab it, walk up to the counter and pay for my new can of TUNA fish.

Now there is something you should know about my shoppping habits. I buy the new TUNA, you know, the kind that comes in a pouch. So this old TUNA, the kind that comes in a can, not nearly as much fish. But I get home and mix it with some mayo and mustard and catsup, because that's how mom made it, and don't you dare make fun of my mom, let her rest in peace.

But I finish this wonderful form of cooking and all I have is a bunch of sauces and very little fish. It's really pretty sad. I don't know what to do. I'm starving, but this thing in the bowl in front of me looks more like some potion I made as a child than real food.

But if anyone else has been drunk, they know that anyfood is good food. I slapped it between two pieces of bread and ate it.

But I'll tell you, this was not the best TUNA fish sandwich I've ever had. I've had some sandwiches that will blow your f%$#ing mind, and this one... not so much.

Later that night I dreamt I was the little rabbit from GOOD NIGHT MOON. I don't think each experience has anything to do with each other, but I don't want to say, either way.

Well, good night piece of paper,

Sam

(this is a journal entry that i found in a diary i found in a chest i bought at an auction. it was the most interesting thing he/she wrote. later i think they died from complications of surgery. they had a heart problem or a blood problem. i don't know. the diary is obviously not as old as the trunk, but it was still full of odd stuff. i might post another page. they did have a fairly odd experience at disney land and some dressed up as "daffy the duck of maybe someone else.")

i don't know
J Batlin