The Finnegan Report

1. Cannes

I was at Cannes for four or five days and it was a great time. I had nowhere to sleep, but luckily this Australian woman let me share her apartment. But the second night, she changed her mind at 4 in the morning and I was out on the street to fend for myself. I trudged with my backpack to the end of the bay where the yachts are parked. At the end of a discreet little pier, I found a small boat tied to the dock and slept in the boat. The next day, I spent hours watching the short films at the area where mine was being shown. Out of nearly 50 films I saw, 3 were fantastic, about 7 were good, about 30 were mediocre, and about 10 were really really bad. That day after watching the films, the short film corner had, as every day, its happy hour. Free drinks. I forget who the sponsors were, but they provide entire refrigerators of beer and enough cases of wine that it never ran out. So each afternoon there was plenty of free drinking to be enjoyed. That day, I went out to the beach already very tipsy. I had my unopened bottle of wine that I had bought previously that I carried in my backpack. I opened it on the beach behind the American pavilion and drank in the sun, talked to some crazy directors. I saw their films the following day. One was the worst film of the entire festival, a documentary about post 9/11 New York with slam poets reciting shitty poetry in front of graffitied New York walls and another hip hop princess riding in a limousine around Ground Zero under construction. The other girl's film was a documentary on couples who choose not to have children. It was so funny because all of them were involved in some creative activity and they look at the camera and say through gritted teeth, "I'm so happy that I chose not to have children. My woodcarving is so fulfilling. I can't imagine children giving me any more fulfillment than the joy I get out of making this wooden duck." And others: "Sheila and I decided not to have children and it's really wonderful because it gives us the freedom couples with children don't have." Cut to 40-something Sheila and husband dancing gracelessly on the beach. Sheila: "My barren womb is more than compensated for by my husband taking me on motorcycle trips... Have you seen my papier-maché dog?" But in any case, it was cool hanging out on the beach, drinking cheap wine. As the sun went down, I walked along to an outdoor screening of Star Wars. The next day was to be the premiere of "Revenge of the Sixth" or whatever. I saw about twenty minutes of the film and passed out. Next thing I remember, somebody puts my jacket on my sleeping body and I go back to sleep. Later, I found a self-shot picture of two girls I never met. When I woke up again the beach was almost empty. I wandered to the bar "where everybody goes", so I'm told. I found some guys I had been hanging out with before. They are two Australian producers trying to promote their trilogy of werewolf horror flicks, "Reign of the Wolf". The first film is about the origins of the werewolf 10,000 years ago. The third film is about werewolves in the modern day. The second of the three, the one that they filmed a trailer for in order to raise money, takes place during the American Revolutionary War. You have the British and the Americans fighting. And in the shadows of the forest, werewolves hunt for HUMAN FLESH!!! It's really funny. Kind of funny absurd as a horror movie premise, but I think it would be really fun to watch. Plus, the werewolves don't look like traditional werewolves, they are long and bony (digitally made), and look more like skinny bears as they gallop on their hind legs across fog-strewn landscapes, howling at the moon. So I hung out at that bar, but didn't drink anything, naturally, as I have no money. In fact for my five days at Cannes, I spent only 45 euros on everything. But my director gave me 50 euros so that I could find a room.
That night, I had no intention of paying for a room. I left the bar where everyone goes with a handful of producers who wanted to stop by the Carlton Hotel for a drink. The Carlton is the nicest hotel on the seafront. Paris Hilton was staying there and it's where Universal Studios and Paramount and all big names were housed. So I went with the producers and ended up spending the night at the Carlton Hotel... in the stairwell. After everyone left, around 3am, and I was alone in the lobby where men and women come and go in thousand dollar suits and gowns, I slinked over to the elevator and made my solitary way to the top floor. It was dead quiet in the chandeliered hallway. I explored the end of the hallway and found some concrete stairs. I thought, if anyone in this hotel had to travel even one floor, they would certainly take the elevator if not call a taxi. So, I set my backpack down on the stairs and managed to fall asleep despite the house techno beats that were still pulsating when I woke up around 7.
The next day, I offered the 50 euros back to my director. She said to keep it. So my whole trip to Cannes, I had a cumulative gain of 5 euros, which is better than my director could say who didn't manage to find a distributor for our film.

2. Upcoming film (acting)

I have my biggest film project yet coming soon. We start shooting the feature film on June 15. It is a 15 day shoot, and since I have the main role, I will be on set for all 15 12-hour days. The final draft of the script looks really good. I think it will be a nice film. I enjoy my part. I enjoy the story.
It's about an American who comes to Paris to be an actor and falls in love with a European girl. I'm preparing a theatre piece, but just as I learn that it will not go on, I also learn that my girlfriend is pregnant. This I am told by my father who I haven't spoken to in three years. I get really mad and drink and fall down and hurt myself, but then I end up patching things up with my dad, getting together with the girlfriend, and getting a role in a film. Happy ending.
The original actress dropped out about two weeks ago. We've been preparing the film for six months and her motivation began to drop. She had other things she wanted to put more energy into and besides, she had just bought a new expensive apartment, and so she became too mature to participate in an indie film that's not paid. It really was funny to see how in the six months of preparation she went from energetic girl to mature woman who really outgrew the part. But just yesterday, we got a new girl for the film and she will be really good, I think. We have some more rehearsal next week, then the following week, we start shooting.
Hopefully, if the film ends up selling, I will get paid. There is a not-impossible chance of that happening, but it would not be less than a year to a year and a half from now after the film goes through post production, makes the round at festivals and hopefully finds a distributor for theatres. I think I'll get somewhere around 5000 euros if the film sells, and if it does well in distribution, I get percentages beyond that. That would be really nice since I have no money.

3. Upcoming film (writing)

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4. No More Teachers No More Books

My girlfriend's graduation took place at a massive auditorium in Paris's biggest convention center. It was the 50th anniversary of her school, so we had to sit through a 3-hour hoopla complete with professional dancing troupes, original songs, all MC'ed by Frederic Mitterand, the nephew of the former President of France. At the end, confetti rained out over the whole auditorium. So it was unbelievable hoopla for a private school graduation. But afterwards, the same waste of money was put to much better use in 40 tables of hors d'oeurves in a giant room, nestled among 10 bars serving free alcohol. Champagne, whisky, gin, vodka, take your pick. For the first three minutes, my mouth was literally never empty. I went from caviar to champagne to stuffed mushroom to ham and paté withtout even breathing.
She and I also celebrated our one year anniversary on Bob Dylan's 64th. We just went for a walk in the Jardin des Plantes and hung out and watched music. She made me a dioramma containing items and images from our favorite songs. Words that were turned into physical representation include "sometimes even the president of the United States must have to stand naked" which was shown by a clay man with GWB's face pasted on standing inside a shower curtain. Another was the house from "Come on Up to the House" by Tom Waits. Standing next to the house, someone asks "What's he building in there?" There was references to Bjork songs and a really bad lyric from a Bright Eyes song.

5. This is How We Living

So I left my apartment on bd. St. Germain on May 1. I stayed with a friend near Montmartre for most of May. Then, when my friend who I'm writing the above screenplay with left for the States, I took his apartment and that's where I am now. It's a nice little place just off rue Mouffetard. 7 square meters, but I got a shower, a stovetop, shelves, a bed, so it's good. He comes back Aug.1. At that time, I should be riding a bike with my girlfriend and another friend somewhere in Europe. When I come back, I'll have nowhere to live and almost no money whatsoever. So how will I survive. Don't know. It was suggested I could strip in gay bars. They say I do a good pole dance.