Textbook vagina in Mexico

I found it strange that Marioni was drunk and reading a textbook on the beach in Mexico, but even stranger that the page he was studying had three close-up photographs of vaginas. "What the fuck are you studying, Marioni?"

"It's for my human sexuality class. I have a final Monday," said Marioni, a borderline mental case who was part of my small excursion to Cholla Bay a week ago.

"Gimme that," and I yanked it away. His final couldn't possibly be more important than me finding out what other gems this psychology textbook might hold. Gems included:

• Schoolyard vocab words in the margin such as "dildo." Yes, "dildo" is a vocabulary word in a college level textbook.
• Illustrations of spiked medieval devices that strapped onto penises to prevent erections among adolescents tempted to masturbate.
• Several full-color photographs of genetalia, including those of hermaphrodites, people brutally afflected with alien-looking STDs. Penises that look like moonrocks. Then there was the above-mentioned vagina trifecta, which was illustrated to demonstrate that "Vaginas look different."
• Photos are acceptable for genetalia, but in the case of sex acts, a brilliant artist was commissioned to portray positions, techniques to conquer impotence, and so on. My favorite drawings are "Fig. 9.1: Gay men hugging," and "Fig.9.2: Lesbians embrace."
• If I ever have a band and release a CD, the cover will be the book's cutaway illustration of a prostate exam. It's a scientific, fully labeled drawing of a man with a finger up his ass.
  
• Another masterful illustration is the rear entry position. All other drawings were fairly generic men and women. But in this one alone, the man was given a moustache, and the woman's face is distorted into an expression that can only be described as intense discomfort. Anyone who reads this book will never ever perform this position again.
  

My friend who majored in Psychology says it's the "science of making common sense extremely confusing." In the case of the psychology of sexuality, I'd say it's more the science of making the common sex act extremely funny. By the end of the afternoon, we were huddled around the book like immature 6th graders looking at the PE sex ed book. Where had this book been all of my life? In my drunken laughter, I offered him $50 for the textbook, but he said he needed it. Jerk.