Go Kart-ing

Howdy from the hills of San Fran, Bay City USA.
And there's no better place to be in this whole fucking place than strapped into a rented go kart with Freaktown at the wheel, slingin' and slangin' all over the place, screaming up and down hills, cruisin' the financial district and thumbs-uppin' every sucker out there.
It was like a movie, this entire day of near-reality. We were gettin' away with a scam, really sending the normal folks a message: We Are the Shit.
Endless laughter. Nearly every damn sucker out there obligingly threw a thumbs up back, smiling at our adventurousness. Untold thousands of people went home last night in San Francisco, saying "Honey, I saw these two jackasses on a go kart, speeding all over the damn place and laughing like escaped lunatics. Man, I wish I could do that."
We started in the tourist area, where I was little different from the other vacationers. But I quickly diverged, took special status, had the city at my disposal on a seven-hour go kart adventure (for the price of three hours!).
Freaktown took the wheel and we sped north along the waterfront, honking, smiling, waving, peace-signing, A-OKing and thumbs-upping people the whole way.
We hit the Golden Gate area, snapping pictures of the Landmark shrouded in fog. (And wouldn't ya know, I forgot my usb cable and I can't share any of the pictures until I return to the desert.)
Then all around the Presidio, by the golf course and the rich folks' homes. Then down toward the beach, where fellow tourists actually told us we were lucky - and they didn't know the half of it. Heading toward Golden Gate Park, we blew a fellow go kart team off the line. They disparaged their car, and were wearing dorky helmets. No helmets for us, we were the hell-raisers.
I took the wheel in the park, somehow becoming turned around and nearly hitting the freeway. Oops. Turn back around and let's cruise the park again. One kid in particulary, probably about 10 or 11, looked at us with pure envy. We waved special to him, beeping the horn to say "Remember this, kid. It is absolutely even more fun than it looks like to you now. And one day you'll grow up and get to it yourself. Keep the faith, my young brother, keep the faith."
From there, we cruised to hippie-ville, where the line outside the free clinic made a better picture than the Haight-Asbury sign. Then down the Haight, where we had to stop at Mad Dog in the Fog for a pint. The sign was obscured so it read: Mad Dog he Fog. A crazed bum was dancing on the sidewalk right behind where we parked the go kart.
On and on then, taking to the hills: that funny crooked street, where we became a momentary distraction, an oddity to exceed the funny crooked street itself. Then we drove by the Full House house, god bless Lori Laughlin and the now-of-age twins.
That go kart owned the hills (it topped out at 50 mph, but that's later in the story). We cruised right on up to Coit Tower, paid the extra $3.75 and took the ancient elevator all the way up for a miraculous set of 360 degree views of the city. Then we posed in front of the Christopher Columbus statue so it looked like Freaktown was poking his crotch and I was cupping the balls.
Then down the hill, visiting the Azul and the financial district, turning ourselves into the Spectacles of the City. Then off to a fancy dinner, parking the go kart half on the street and locking it to a post. The construction worker said it was going to be OK.
With little time to spare, Freaktown swung past the Giants park, then opened the throttle up on the Embarcadero, passing several cars on the way to return the go kart at 9:57 p.m., just ahead of the gun.
In all, one hell of an adventure, elevated to superhuman status by a 340 cc engine. We must've put 25 miles on the thing and discovered the ideal way to travel in San Francisco.