The Buzzz Sheet

I was digging through some old emails and I found The Buzzz Sheet One Year Anniversary Special Edition. So here's a snippet to enjoy!

1. POINTING

Man yelling into cell phone and pointing down the street: I'm pointing at you dammit! Don't talk to me like that!

2. HEAD

Little boy: I'm gonna take off my head. I can't.

3. DIRECTION

Waitress: Where's this going? Think, think, think.

4. PENS

Woman 1: Hows come I don't have a purple pen?
Woman 2: I brought this over from Vedder.
Woman 1: Vedder has purple pens? And you left?

5. HELP

Little boy: I help him. He lifts it and I stab him.

6. BIG TOM

Woman: Yeah! Big Tom! [pause] Well I gotta piss.

7. SURPRISE

Man: That's what was great about Mary shooting Nick from her vagina. It surprised us and we loved it.

8. RUMORS

Man: There's a rumor going around the office that I suck.

9. REASON

Man 1: I heard dipshit tasered himself in the nuts.
Man 2: Yeah. It was funny.
Man 1: How'd he do it?
Man 2: He just put the taser to his nuts and pulled the trigger...ZAP!
Man 1: Was there any particular reason?
Man 2: No; well actually tequila was the reason.

10. BLOODY

Woman: The doctor was like, "who's next?" and I was like, "How about bloody?"