Kobe

Money can't buy you love...
But it'll get you a team of defense attorneys that will do everything they can to put so much pressure on the 19-year-old woman you screwed in a Colorado hotel by dragging her personal sexual history into the national spotlight that she'll back out of her testimony and kill the prosecution's case in the rape trial against you. (And money'll get you a fat diamond to buy off your wife.)

'Course, if that's too cynical, I still like Randy Newman's version:
"They say that money can't buy love, but it'll get you a half-pound of cocaine and a 16-year-old girl and a great big long limousine on a hot September night. Now that may not be love, but it's all right."

(edited)