A Few Facts from A History of the End of the World

Last week's 'Politics of Culture' podcast (available through iTunes and KCRW's website) features an interview with John Kirsch about his latest book, A History of the End of the World, which examines the text and historical interpretations of the Book of Revelation. It is of note that Mr. Kirsch is Jewish, if only because it informs his outsider interpretation of what is probably the scariest religious document around.

A few tidbits:
'The Rapture' does not occur in Revelation.
This was quite surprising to me (raised Catholic, this is the only book of the New Testament I was not forced to read in high school...) as it plays so centrally in most Christian visions of the end of the world, most famously in the Left Behind series.

In fact, the Rapture was conceived by a 19th c. American protestant minister named John Nelson Darby. Darby thought it unfair that good Christians would have to endure the apocalypse (wars, pestilance, plague, etc.) with all the filthy unbelievers. He, therefore, decided that God would teleport all worthy Christians to heaven right before the big battle, where they could watch Jesus take on Satan from a set of bleachers just to the right of God's thrown.

Interestingly, Darby also conceived the idea (taken from Old Testament passages) that, before Armaggedon can get on, Israel will again become the sole and soverign property of the Jews. So (as also detailed in Left Behind) Evangelicals are really looking forward to the day that those pesky Palestinians bug out and stop hassling the Cananites, as it is an integral sign of the coming of the end. Ironically, Darby and his Evangelical followers believe the Jews will be vanquished to hell just a few days later, when Jesus comes down to judge the living and the dead. This will happen, of course, to any Jew who doesn't realize the err of his ways and convert to Christianity first. But, don't worry Jews, there will be plenty of warnigns and chance to get right w/ God first. Like a couple of old, blind dudes appearing at the Wailing Wall and start breathing fire at anyone who wants to fuck with them. If you see these guys on CNN, my Hebrew friends, run to the nearest church and promptly drink the Jesu's blood/wine and eat those little wafers. Sure, cannibalism's kinda disgusting conceptually but the wafer doesn't taste bad--just a bit chalky and, for being the body of Christ, it is a surprisingly unfilling meal.


Another interesting fact:
The Antichrist doesn't appear in Revelations...
...Although there are a whole host of baddies, including the Grim Reaper and the Four Horseman. At some point in the middle ages, the cast of characters in Revelations came to be considered to large, so some Priests and Monks decided to take the title of 'the Antichrist' from earlier passages of the Bible and make him the Big Bad of Revelations presumably so that it would be easier to explain to the illiterate masses and simplistic pagans.

The whole concept of the Antichrist being a psuedo-Christian who takes over Europe and trying to kill the world with kindness was made up by that pesky John Nelson Darby and expounded upon by his followers.


Ronald Reagan had the Joint Chiefs briefed on their role in Armaggedon!
Much like our current Commander-in-Chief, Reagan believed that the Apocalypse was 'very fucking nigh' but, unlike Bush, was willing to speak openly in public about it. So much so, that he had apocalptic expert/bestselling novelist Hal Lindsey (whose The Late, Great Planet Earth was a best-selling forerunner of the Left Behind series) brief the Joint Chiefs on how the imminent nuclear war with the USSR was actually a postive as it signaled the beginning of Armageddon and, therefore, party time for all good Christians...


...but not Catholics who are going to hell, for giving too much power and creedence to that agent of the Antichrist, the Pope.
Although he had previously considered excising Revelation from his secular-German translation of the Bible (the first of its kind) because it lacked the love and forgiveness messages favored by Christ, Martin Luther had no reservations about using the language of revelations in his rhetorical battle with the Vatican, calling the Pope the Antichrist's lackey (a view that persists amongst Evangelicals to this day).


Other tidbits:
Hitler's talk of the '1,000-year rule for the 3rd Reich' was taken directlty from Revelations, which illuminated the concept of a one thousand-year break between the first and second apocalypse (and you thought there was only one!) during which good Christians would rule the Earth, under Jesus' supervision, until Satan returned for the Final final battle between good and evil. All this, even though Hitler thought the Bible was a bunch of hooey!

Finally, Bush's Secretary of the Interior (who oversees National Parks and conservation efforts, among other duties) James Watt, when asked about his land/water conservation efforts, told a reporter there was no need to conserve the environment, since the Earth isn't going to be around much longer. Obviously, he didn't get the memo about there being two apocalypses.