The Epistles of Aunt Judith Evelyn Harper St. Clair (a cursory examination)

It is with great pleasure that I present to the Time & Space Lounge, the unabridged epistles of Aunt Judith and Harlequin St. Clair. Perhaps this sampling will whet the appetites of our readers, in which case we may be able to raise the funds necessary to procure further missives from the respectable St. Clair estate.

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"My absolute limit!"

From the desk of Judith Evelyn Harper St. Clair-

Dearest nephew, it is I who must apologize for last nights failed attempt to silence once and for all the slanderous tongues at the meeting of the Friends of the Maritime Museum. You see, were it not for that hideous shrew of a woman, that harridan Violet Venable, I certainly would not have stooped to such gauche behavior. To think I actually shook my fan at the chairwoman with such contempt. I, Judith Evelyn Harper St. Claire. I hope you can forgive me, Harlequinn. Your valiant efforts will not go unrewarded.

Harlequinn! Fetch for your Aunt Judith the despot who soiled this linen. See here? The stain. I, a proper and most devout Catholic, cannot begin to fathom how Lester, your unpolished country cousin, can produce such vile secretions from his own person. Like Rapunzel in her tower, I feel trapped by the filth he has flung my way. Fetch him for me Harlequinn, and when I have properly scolded him and believe he has reasonably accounted for his malicious actions, you and I will dine beneath the bridge with the sweating hobos of yesteryear.


From the desk of Harlequin Bradshaw St. Clair-

Aunt Judith, it appears that our cousin Lester has a far stronger appetite for destruction. It seems that his bobbing for crawdads at the bay leads to a malevolent fate with our fair chicks. You see, he places them in their drinking water, and when they dip thier utilitarian beaks for what they think will be a refresing cool-down, well, I don't think I shall ....... we found one of our dear hens with this beast of a sea creature embedded in its supple tuft. Lester has brought on a true reckoning, and he must be made example of! Judith, I leave his demise in your hands..... spare no rod!!!!! I will send our man searvant Quincy down as quickly as you can sing one of our very songbook prayers.

Sincerely,
Harlequinn Bradshaw, St. Clair